A Day in the Life of a Professional Crabber

An excerpt from The Cape Yorker | 4th Edition | John Mondora

I’ve smelt professional crabbers from about two kilometers away, and their boats look like moving mud banks.

But I’ve just spent a couple of days with a professional mud crabber who isn’t like that at all. But he and his boat are spick and span (thank his wife)and he runs a top operation. It’s funny but over a long life I’ve noticed the real successful men (be it in business, politics, on the land, etc., etc.,) have always had a wife, or partner who stood shoulder to shoulder with them and not backed away from any of life’s challenges, and of course, there’s always plenty of those.

Well this particular crabber has a wife, who barely leaves his side, and can work like a one arm tiler, and I get the impression they were childhood sweethearts. He call’s her “darl”, and she calls him “sweets”. Yeah I know its almost throw up time.

The couple I’m talking about are Mark and Julianne Grunske of Croc and Crab Tours. One word only can be used to describe their tour boat and that is magnificent. Mark is the type of man who has to do everything right and no expense was spared.

Everything, repeat EVERYTHING, is the best money can buy I can tell you.

Built in Cairns by Cairns Custom Craft she is 10 metres long , 3metres wide, and has two 255 four stroke Yamahas as power. Those 450 horse power means she can cruise at 24 knots all day long, and, she is surveyed to carry 40.

But of course the best tour boat in the world can never work if the Captain and crew can’t handle the people. In other words be cheery and knowledgeable with a gift of the gab to make visitors relaxed and happy to part with their money.

To be honest, I couldn’t imagine a professional crabber being a ‘smooth as silk’ tour guide. Too many lonely long days up rivers by themselves to be cheery with a glib tongue.

Boy! Did I get a culture shock!

Mark and Julianne are about the best tour guides I have been with, and the clients simply loved them and had a ball. They bounce off each other with professional ease and seem to be so relaxed they’re almost comatose.

Whether they are or not is open to debate, but they sure look relaxed. When I told Mark I wanted to do an article on Croc and Crab Tours he smiled and said “Well you’d better come along in the morning while I pull some pots so I can get some crabs for the people. I’ve got a sunset tour tomorrow afternoon and you and Jennifer had better ride along so you can see if Jules and I do the job”.

That was fair enough I thought. And that folks is where “A day in the life of a professional crabber” came from. Marks crabbing dinghy is a 6 metre aluminum hull with a 100 four stroke Yammy on the bum and it goes like a cut cat. I suppose it has to when you’re working almost 50 miles of river.

Mark picked me up from Ash’s Holiday Apartments (I always stay there in Karumba) and he was dressed in drab old King Gee shorts and shirt and I remember thinking “Jeez can this guy ever be a tour guide?”

We only pulled about 15 pots for 15 big crabs and the casual way he handles these cranky crabs has to be seen to be believed.

Yes he’s a real professional at this trade I can tell you. He, and the love of his life, had to box up a bunch of live crabs that afternoon so they could be trucked to Cairns for an early morning flight to the Sydney Fish Markets the next day.

At 4 p.m. Jennifer and I wandered down to the boat ramp to wait for the Grunske's and I nearly fainted at how they looked when they launched that big pontoon boat.

Gone were the drab old King Gees. Now they looked like a pair of peacocks in their bright red shirts with their names embossed over the pockets.

Study the pictures of the love birds all done up for the tour, and bear in mind he was wrestling mud crabs that morning.

I said to them "If those shirts ever get pregnant I'll take the first pup". Jeez you should have seen them.

It was a full boat with all of the Crombie family. The wonderful old pioneer parents had produced 12 kids (how did they get time to pioneer??) and about ½ of their brood, and ½ of their brood were on board, and they were a bunch of happy wonderful people looking forward to their sunset tour.

But a pretty boat and a poofy shirt do not make a tour guide, so I had my fingers crossed for the Grunske’s.

What a waste of time that was.

The pair are about the best tour guides I’ve ever been with and I’ve travelled the world quite a bit. Mark can talk underwater and knows his subjects intimately and he has a brilliant sense of humour that relaxes one and all. Julianne is a delightful lass, who obviously enjoys people and runs the operation, and Mark by the way, with professional ease.

Both will only have top quality everything on board and those big Gulf prawns and fruit platters were as good as any 5 star hotel. The red and white wine is top shelf and you get to keep the wine glass and stubby cooler as mementos of your trip. The soft drinks and juice were icy cold and the kids thought that was great. The even had Namus (raw fish in chilli and lime) with biscuits and boy wasn’t that wolfed down.

Karumba is one of the few places in Easters Australia where the sun sets in the sea and the group was in awe as Old Sol sunk into the pristine wasters of the Gulf of Carpentaria.

It was a brilliant tour and both Jennifer and I quietly asked a lot of the group had they enjoyed it and all said “We had a great time or fantastic”, and I guess you cant ask for more than that.

They had a ½day tour the next morning and this one is upriver pulling mud crab pots and looking for crocodiles. Julianne was at her best as she pulled the big pots (she’s strong enough to hold a pull out to pee) and while there were a few big bucks it was full on jenny crabs (females). It is illegal to take female crabs in QLD and Mark has a permit to have one on board for educational purposes.

As we idled back Mark did a full on talk on mud crabs and on this subject he is plain spooky. He tied up a couple of big bucks and the visitors held them so their better halves could take pictures of how brave they were.

He also talked at length of the industries of tiny Karumba i.e. the huge Min-Metals zinc operations, commercial trawling, barra fishing and crabbing, the live cattle trade, plus the enormous value of the tourist industry to this tiny village of 600 permanent souls. I doubt very much if the rest of Australia has a clue just how much of the wealth of this nation is generated at tiny Karumba on the south eastern corner of the Gulf of Carpentaria.

This is the winter feeding grounds for a lot of grey nomads, especially those that fish. This ½ day tour ends with 4each client getting ½ a mud crab, plus all the trimmings, with wine and beers and a Karumba mud crab that is almost big enough to be a menace to low flying aircraft.

So what exactly do the Grunske's offer on their tours? Well the ½ day tours includes live crab pot lifting, live crab handling and tying, plus bird and croc spotting.We saw one 3 metre model in the morning and the afternoon group saw 5, including one bloody thing big enough to eat the damn boat.

Served on board this tour is fresh cooked mud crab, fresh cooked Gulf prawns, tropical fruit platters, and ice cold refreshments, including wine and beer. If crabs and prawns are not your thing Julianne will have chicken etc. just for you. The cost of this tour is $119 for adults, with kids between 5 and 15 $30, and the rug rats for free. Have a think just how much a mud crab meal cost in a top restaurant and you must agree this tour is top value.

The luxury sunset tour, which departs at 4.45 p.m., is 65 bucks for adults and 19 for the kids between 5 and 15. Served on this tour are prawns, fruit platters etc.,.

This is a super tour, especially for those of you who get romantic at sunsets. My God I just thought of something. This beautiful pontoon boat even has a full flush toilet and deep soft padded seats for the ladies.

Well what did this cranky old writer really think of the Grunske's operation? One word sums it up … … brilliant. They are a delightful couple, obviously still in love as the day they met, and they don't come much better as tour guides.

Value for money… …excellent. Look put it this way. I can't recommend Croc and Crab Tours highly enough. So when next in Karumba do yourself a favour and go on a Croc and Crab Tour.

Think about this. All the money in the world isn't much good when the Grim Reaper comes calling. Money is only colored paper that blows away in the wind but it can be used to buy memories that will last forever.